Letting Go...

Yes, I have watched Nancy Grace for over 30 days in a row. Yes, it has interfered with my love and support of The Young and the Restless. Yes, she drives David crazy, and, yes, Andrew leaves the room when she is on...the only one that likes her in this house is me, that is for sure.
Now that things are ending on the Casey Anthony front, I mean she is getting out next week, I have made a personal decision to try and move forward. Yes, I am still watching NG...and she is starting to talk about other cases. Yes, there is a special coming on tonight, yes, I am watching it. Okay, I am really going to try to let go next week.
So, my thoughts on the big bad verdict? I don't agree. As someone who watched many hours of the trial, followed Dr. Drew and NG, read blogs, newspaper...kept up with this thing since 2008...I don't agree. I know there are critics out there who are saying the public was strongly influenced by the media, but I don't agree. I have liked and watched NG long before Casey Anthony was ever on the scene. Off and on depending what was happening. I am so capable of forming my own opinion based on the facts.
31 days.
It took Casey Anthony 31 days to tell anyone her daughter was missing. 31 days in which she partied, shopped, bought beer, entered a hot body contest, layed up in the bed with her boyfriend...31 days. I would be and have been devastated once before when I lost my son for 31 minutes. I thought I was going to die. There were many things that went through my head...how will I live life without my son? Has he been kidnapped? Will he be sold to another family? How did I let this happen? All bad thoughts. All regarding my son. No thoughts of woohoo, partay. Oh, and I told everyone working at Great Wolf Lodge that he was missing. My husband and I searched and they locked all the doors and told everyone on their walkie talkies to look for a little boy in pajammas. He had ridden the elevator to another floor, found an adult and eventually found us. But, I think I had the reaction most moms have when faced with unexpected separation from their child. Panic. Fear. Tears. Not...party, sex and booze. Extreme example. I know.
Moving on...anyone who doesn't report their child missing after 31 days, and allows hundreds of citizens to volunteer looking for her, all along knowing your child is dead...this person deserves no less than hard time in prison. Hard time being 25 to life. I would say life.
Hello, what were the jurors thinking? I don't get it. I have seen one of them in an interview, and she sucks. She was all "well there wasn't any evidence." If the child drowned by accident she wouldn't have been found in a trash bag in a swamp. She would have been found floating in the dang pool. Why...oh, I will stop. Why. 2/3rds of Americans think the jury got it wrong. 2/3rds.
There is no chance ever that Casey will get retried. It is over. I know this. I am finding peace in the fact that there is now a law being considered for creation in honor of Caylee. It would severely punish any parent who doesn't report their child missing after 48 hours. Duh.
What bothers me is that Casey Anthony has already been offered one million for her story. What bothers me is that she will eventually get a book deal, a movie deal, and God knows what else. Jose Baez, her attorney, has already signed with an entertainment firm to handle his interviews. These things bother me. They bother me very much.
And let me back up...because I know many critics would say I am "judging" her. I would love to win a hot body contest. I enjoy dancing, beer and the company of my man. I have nothing wrong with these things...but I am not missing my child!! He is right here in this house.
I am finding peace. I am finding peace in the fact that Caylee is in a heavenly place. I try not to think about her mother having more children and those children meeting the same fate. I am finding peace in the fact that Caylee captured the hearts of so many mothers, including my own.
I am really hoping that others like me that got so wrapped up in this case are able to find peace too. It makes no sense, and it just never will...it is best to just let is go and realize all we can do is really nothing. The fate of this case was with 12 persons, and they chose not guilty. We were not on the jury, and we don't get a vote. I don't get it. I don't have faith in our justice system, but I can't fix all of these problems today. What I can do is say I am sorry that this happened. I love my little boy, and I would never, willingly, allow anything to happen to him. Shame on you Casey Anthony. Shame on you and the 31 days you waited. Shame on you for knowing what happened and sitting there smugly. Shame on your mother for perjuring herself to save you. Shame. Shame. Shame.